Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
