You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
