she was so not down for the gang bang
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
