She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
