My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
