i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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