Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
