That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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