Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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