11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize