this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
