I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
