brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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