just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
