as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
