she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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