It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
