So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
