He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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