yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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