Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
