There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
i think my cat just said my name.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
