I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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