I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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