Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Text me some of your sweat
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize