Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
