My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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