well you can't waste a boner
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
