I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
accomplished twins. life is a go
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
