Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize