We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Randomize
