seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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