Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
