just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
