Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize