but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
