I think my vagina is haunted
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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