Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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