On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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