I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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