it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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