so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
