i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
