He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
