Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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