no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
