cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
