Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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