I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize