i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
