I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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