I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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