just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
