I'm lost and stupid without you.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
