This girl is more easily done than said...
She announced her abortion via fbk
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
