I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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