Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize