i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
