i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize